Revamped - Reviewed by axlish
Reviewed By: axlish
Release Date: Yet to be determined
Directed by: Jeff Rector
Released: Millenium Concepts

2 out of 5 Skulls
Revamped is the story of Richard, played by Jeff Rector (who also writes and directs this film), a wealthy middle aged man who discovers that his wife is cheating on him. Upon learning this, he makes several zealous attempts at taking his own life, but he changes his mind upon seeing a commercial on television advertising a chance at being a vampire. Just one phone call and a vampire will show up to your doorstep and bite your neck. One thing leads to another and sure enough, Richard becomes a vampire. Now he can have his sweet revenge on his cheating wife.

All doesn’t go as expected. By an odd twist of fate, Richard is cremated in stead of being buried. Five years pass as Richard’s ashes sit on the shelf of a low-rent funeral parlor due to his widowed wife’s negligence. Luckily for Richard, a vampire cult robs the funeral parlor of its blood, killing the employees in the exchange. This leads to Richard’s ashes being knocked onto a pile of blood which resurrects him in vampire form. Richard can finally get his revenge against his wife’s lover (played by Kato Kaelin), but five years has passed. During that time there has been an apocalypse against all vampires, and they must now live in secret. Now Richard must choose sides in this war between humanity and vampires.
Revamped is a comedy in the vein of Dracula: Dead and Loving it. This isn’t evident at first because it starts pretty slow. It takes about ten minutes to set up what I wrote in the first two paragraphs so there is a lot to process at first. Once the movie gets going the comedy improves. What helps this along is a seemingly endless parade of cameo appearances from long time genre favorites. Notable cameos include Reggie Bannister (Phantasm), Fred Williamson (Three the Hard Way), Billy Drago (The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.), Mickey Jones (Vacation) and Vernon Wells (Commando, The Road Warrior).
Featured roles are given to Martin Kove (the Sensei from Karate Kid) and Christa Campbell (2001 Maniacs). Martin Kove plays the lead detective, and provides some of the more humorous moments in the film. Christa Campbell’s performance is very poor in her role as Lexa the vampire mistress. She is used very little and should have been used even less. There is zero nudity, and I hate to say this, but this type of film could really use some. I say this because the film is an adult themed comedy, and there are several sexually charged scenes. There are scantily dressed, large breasted vampires scattered thorough the film.
Despite Revamped’s choppy beginning, it comes around once the story gets going. I cannot say enough how much the cameo appearances helped this film out. It keeps the mood light and interesting, and the jokes get a little better as well. The production value is decent, but the first time directing skills of Jeff Rector hurt the film severely. I do think the film is worth the watch though, so give it a rent if any of the cameos interest you. The film is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. My screener copy includes a trailer as well, but I cannot be sure what will be included on the final DVD release.
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